crazy times

The past few weeks have been some of the most tragic, inspiring, interesting weeks of my life. On May 4th 2011, tornados ravaged the state of Alabama-including the two cities that I consider my two homes-Cullman & Tuscaloosa. To see the devastation in these areas has been heartbreaking, but to see how these areas have joined together to support each other in this time is so inspiring. People are putting aside their pride, differences, & statuses to serve each other and love each other. I am truly blessed to be able to witness this first hand. To see the damage done by the tornado has been even more eye-opening. The tornados do not discriminate based on economic status, age, or race. A simple wind has demolished homes, cars, lives, & neighborhoods. To see the devastation around me hits me with a huge blast of survivor's guilt & an amazing amount of surprise & awe at people who have survived and the lack of bitterness that resonates with them. I know people are bitter & hard. It's hard not to be. I don't think I would be the picture perfect of calm if I emerged from my home to see my neighbors' homes standing on my right & left. I am still trying to digust how this happens. This is not a punishment for evil in the world, but there is evil in the world and as much as God protects us we must go through these trials. The thing this event has reminded me the most of is that we are not of this world. This is such a temporary place-this is not our home. We build it up and create our nests of comfort, we adjust and conform but then something like this happens and it makes it all the more clear how temporary life is.

God in a Box

Today it hit me of how much of a box I try to fix God into. I don't ask for too much, I don't give him to much responsibility because of a fear of what that could do to my own faith. Being the type-A personality that I am, I have always lived with the idea that "I am sure that I can do it just fine"-asking for help is weakness. I don't want God to think I am whinny (I feel like God-if he wanted to-would have some other choice adjectives that would go way beyond whinny). In the eve of Easter Sunday, I have been thinking a lot about Jesus's death on the cross. I think it is really easy for me to doubt the death of my savior. Logically I get it, but on some level, I don't want to because if/when I do get it, I realize what a huge gift that is. I feel as if I have such a debt that I would owe. if you really get how big/symbolic/loving that gift is, how do you ever begin to try and repay it. Here is the concept I find the hardest to grasp=you can't. My human instinct is to reject that. Surely there is something I could do to make up for what He did for me. There isn't. God gave this gift, this grace, this love freely without request, need, required payback. So crazy to wrap my mind around.

Lord, give me the faith to let you out of the box.

wow 2010

Happy New Years! It is officially 2011 (which is going to be such an epic year by the way-I can feel it in my bones). As I look toward the future, I can help but feel super grateful for everything that this past year has given me.

1. Started out in Palm Springs with my lovely amazing hippy grandparents. love.

2. National Championship trip, epic way to start the new year

3. Surviving the hardest semester ever

4. Ecuador for the summer, an entire spent hanging out with God and some amazing new people

5. Two Nashville trips with my beautiful friends

Can't wait to see what 2011 has to offer!